Communication · 3 min

The question you have not asked

You have a position. This finds the piece of information you are missing.

How to do it

  1. Write the other person's position as they would put it, not as you would characterise it.

  2. Find the part you genuinely do not understand — not the part you disagree with.

  3. Turn it into one plain question, with no argument attached.

  4. Ask it next time you speak, and let them answer at length.

A real question changes a conversation faster than a better argument.